I should have gone to hug her, but instead I sat awkwardly in front of her. Once a week, our commune would gather for a dance night, and the adults - all those over the age of 12 - paired off for sex. I remember filming the video as if it was yesterday - and how the man "directing" it asked me to rub my bottom and to wriggle for the camera-The tragedy is that already at that age I had been forced to become sexualised. When I was eight, the leaders decided to keep me apart from Dad, and only let me see him once a week, while other couples helped to raise me. He always insisted that nothing sexual had happened. Since then, I have slowly rebuilt my life. Can you begin to imagine how distressing that was for a little girl who had already been ripped away from her mother? After a few days, I flew back to the cult.
It should have been so different. Since then, I have slowly rebuilt my life. Years later, he claimed that this young child had made a move on him. Reveille was at 7. Around that time, we moved to a communal house rented by the sect and were ordered to change our names - possibly because the leaders wanted us to be untraceable by our families in England. My father never did anything to me in a sexual way but his friend Soloman, a Londoner, would ask me to dance for him naked in his bedroom. We lived in a commune known as Loveville, led by Paul Peloquin and his wife Marianne. When the wine came round, my adult partner took a gulp and then fixed his mouth on mine. When I was six, Berg requested the women to dance naked for him on the video which I still have today. Watching it now makes me feel physically sick. It was to be several years before a life-changing event made me realise I had to escape. When she was just a few weeks old I began to be horrified at the debauchery that was still raging around me. How could a man stand by while his year-old daughter was effectively raped by another man? Then, on my 18th birthday, some of the cult leaders told me that Mum and Kristina were causing a media storm in England, appearing on television and speaking out against the cult. One man, Manuel, helped teach us our dance routines. I never thought of telling Dad how I felt, especially after one evening when I walked in on him lying on the bed half-dressed with my year-old friend Armi. This was to happen once a week. Why don't we pray together? Fruit and vegetables had to be soaked in salt water for 20 minutes - which made them taste awful. It starts innocently enough - I am six years old, a small, slim, dark-haired child dancing to pipe music for the camera. The thought of that encounter deeply disturbed me. Most watched News videos. Back in Britain, I joyfully joined my mother and Kristina. I was born on January 29, , and we were sent to join a commune in Bombay which was part of the cult, and where my sister Kristina was born 18 months later. We were shown illustrated stories which were often filled with scenes of explicit sex, nudity or gruesome demons. When I watched the adults having sex, they seemed to enjoy it, so why didn't I? I had no idea what to say to her except for "Hi, Mum.
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